To cultivate self-love sounds simple, but this concept is often foreign. Isn’t it strange how many of us never learned how to love ourselves or why it is critical to our happiness? People have been conditioned to believe that putting oneself first is egocentric or selfish. In reality, a lack of self-love can block you from creating a thriving life.
Create a deep appreciation of yourself and cultivate self-love for emotional, spiritual, and physical growth. Prioritizing yourself does not make you selfish. In contrary, it’s the epitome of self-love. Hold yourself in high esteem, you’re worth it. Loving yourself helps you to create a life full of meaning and purpose.
Self-Love begins with Acceptance
To love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you. -Andrea Dykstra
Loving yourself is in the first place accepting yourself and being okay with who you are including all your faults, flaws, and mistakes. Start following the path of self-love by taking a moment, connecting with yourself, and asking the following questions
- How do I feel about myself?
- Am I okay with myself?
- Am I at peace with myself?
- Am I appreciating myself?
Treat yourself with Compassion and Kindness
If you had to name all the things you love, how long would it have taken you to mention yourself?
When you accept every aspect of yourself, treat yourself with compassion and kindness the same way as you treat your best friend. Let go of judging yourself and allow yourself to be the person who you truly are.
If you slip into critical self-talk – saying things like “I can’t do this”, “I am not good enough”, “I am so stupid” – or expecting things of yourself, you would never expect of others, become aware of your thoughts. Remind yourself that you wouldn’t say these phrases to your best friend!
Each time you talk negatively about yourself, you make yourself small and reject yourself. You can only create a life full of ease and flow when you are coming from a place of love.
Radiate the high vibration energy of appreciating yourself and model to others how to treat you. When you treat yourself with compassion, you broadcast that energy to others. Everything is energy and frequency; we attract what we emit.
You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level. -Eckart Tolle
Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean you are egocentric but instead it means standing up for yourself and your dreams, no matter what others think. As a result you will become more independent, knowing and following your purpose without the constant need of bending or adapting for others. Take the time to listen to what your inner wisdom wants to tell you. Reflect on your desires, decide to take action, and move towards what truly makes you fulfilled.
- What it is really that makes me happy and fulfilled?
- What is okay for me and what do I desire? What do I need? [Instead of bending or adapting for others.]
To fully love someone else, love yourself first. I have experienced a significant shift in my mindset when I learned this fundamental lesson. While taking a water rescue course, I realized that people could only help someone else when they prioritize their safety first. How would you be able to save someone if you are drowning too?
Only then, when we give ourselves all that we need, we are ready to enter into a real connection and relationship. Only then, we do not act anymore from a place of neediness but from a place of wholeness.
Dedicate time to Self-Care
A big part of self-love also includes giving yourself a break, taking time for relaxation and balancing those feminine energies. For instance, think about how many times you push or overwork yourself. After a long day, you are exhausted, yet there are so many things you still have to get done. Instead of pushing through your to-do list, cultivate self-care and rest.
Tune in with your body, listen to it, respect it, and trust it that it knows what’s best for you. After all, you are the one person in your life you spend most of your time with. Practice daily maintenance, there are so many options to choose from, like meditation, yoga, breath work, long walks, spending time in nature.
Affirmations to strengthen Self-Love
A great way to establish a new mindset and feeling about self-love is using affirmations. Use affirmations that resonate with you and clear any resistance before.
- I am perfect just the way I am.
- I respect myself, and others appreciate me.
- I talk to and about myself with love, kindness, and compassion.
- I listen to myself and honor my needs and desires.
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About the Author
Martina Zimmerbauer is a Spiritual Coach & Energy Healer. As a certified ThetaHealing® Instructor, Reiki Practitioner, Astrologer and Yogini, she supports aspiring women to claim their inner power, unfold their uniqueness, take inspired action, advance with confidence and live up to their soul’s full potential.